Monthly archives: September 2015

Mothers & Daughters – The Delicate Balance

Posted on Feelings, General, Parenting, Self-Esteem September 25, 2015 by Mary George

“Strong girls strive to define themselves as women and adults.  They are trying to break away from family and remain close at the same time.  They are trying to have friends without sacrificing themselves to do it.  They attempt to define themselves as moral people and to take responsibility for their choices.  They are trying to make good choices, often without much help.”

– Mary Pipher
Reviving Ophelia

The Mother/Daughter relationship is like walking a tightrope as our daughters enter their adolescent years. Our previously happy, self-confident girls are now moody, sad and uncomfortable in their own skin. Some girls who were once very open with their Mothers no longer want to share their thoughts and feelings. Where does this leave us as Mothers? Frustrated, confused, and worried. We all live in a world of constant pressure from social media to look good, be happy and show that you are doing the coolest thing out there. Between social media, magazines and TV we are bombarded with celebrity lives showcasing their designer clothes, plastic surgery and fast cars making one think that is normal. There is fat shaming, twitter trolls and mean girls. Sheer craziness for our girls who are trying to understand themselves, navigate their world and where they fit in. How can we as Mothers guide and help them?

Join My Remarkable Self and psychologist Dr. Jo Anne Sirey, Ph.D.** for our Mother/ Daughter Workshop on November 4th, 2015 in Rye, NY as we explore the important Mother/ Daughter relationship and its impact on their lives as they embark on the journey through this developmental phase. The following will be explored:

* How mothers communicate with their daughters and how to send positive messages

*The importance of the mother / daughter relationship in developing their daughters self-esteem and body image.

For Mothers and Daughters grades 5 – 7.

Contact us at to register or for further information.

**Jo Anne Sirey, Ph.D. is a researcher, educator and clinician. Dr. Sirey completed her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College. At Weill Cornell she conducts research on engaging individuals in mental health services funded by both the National Institute of Health and Fan Fox and Leslie R. Samuels Foundation. She is a national recognized speaker in the areas of depression, elder abuse and women’s adult development. In her private practices (White Plains NY and New York City) Dr. Sirey works with adults to manage transitions, from parents with adolescents to adults making their own transitions (e.g., divorce, role changes, loss) and older adults facing the vicissitudes of aging and illness. Dr. Sirey co-developed the Mother-Daughter workshop and has been meeting with mothers and daughters for over 20 years. She is so pleased to be working with the My Remarkable Self team!


The Millennials & Introducing Generation Z

Posted on Feelings, General, Parenting September 18, 2015 by Mary George

Narcissistic, overconfident, entitled and lazy – the definition of the Millennial. The Millennials are the “new” Me Generation born between roughly 1980 and 2000 and they are the children of the original Me Generation otherwise known as the baby boomers. The Millennials get the rap of being selfish, entitled and think only of themselves. They have no respect of authority and would rather check their social media status than engage in conversation. At least that is what the experts say. Is it true? Well, Time Magazine published an article with these hard facts:

*58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982.

*Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance.

*Three times as many middle school girls want to grow up to be a personal assistant to a famous person as want to be a Senator, according to a 2007 survey.

*Four times as many would pick the assistant job over CEO of a major corporation.

*In 1992, the nonprofit Families and Work Institute reported that 80% of people under 23 wanted to one day have a job with greater responsibility; 10 years later, only 60% did.

So what does this mean for our children? One of the theories behind the Millennials is that they are just an evolvement of the previous generations. If that is the case then how will our children evolve? We have introduced social media at ages much younger than they are equipped to handle, we continue to helicopter parent and participation trophies are still filling my children’s rooms. Are our children and our society doomed? I am determined that they are not but parenting our children will play a significant role in breaking the pattern. How do we do it? How do we develop Generation Z?

Have them contribute to your family through chores or just helping out. They will feel happy and fulfilled about helping especially if they see it makes you happy and makes things better for your family as a whole.

Do not always be there to save them, let them figure things out (caveat – your child’s and others’ safety). If they forget their homework after you have told them 5 times to put it in their backpack, do not take it to school. Let them understand the consequences of their actions. They will start to gain a sense of responsibility. If they are playing a game with their siblings or friends, do not always step in if there is a problem let them try to work it out and problem solve.

Last but not least work to instill gratitude in your children. (Also see “Is saying “I’m sorry ” becoming obsolete?”) With the relentless bombardment of selfies, likes and Instagram posts, the me, me, me focus is constant. Find a time each day to talk them about what they are thankful for that day. Give back to others, not just at the holidays but consistently. Ask them what they did that day to be kind to another person. All of these together will help to instill compassion for others and help them to understand that it is not just all about them.

While it’s yet to be seen what the Millennial generation will achieve, we have the ability to teach our children how to be good people in this crazy work while also working hard. Wouldn’t you rather their generation stronger, inclusive and more thoughtful?

NY Times – Move Over, Millennials, Here Comes Generation Z