Archive for Communication

Bullying vs Teasing – Do YOU know the difference?

Posted on Communication, Conflict Resolution, General October 26, 2015 by Mary George

October is Bullying Prevention Awareness Month and school children all over the country are being talked to about this incredibly important topic. As I spoke with my children about their understanding and take aways of what bullying and cyberbullying is, I saw that they were gaining an understanding of it but were unable to distinguish the difference between teasing and true bullying as I am sure most of adults cannot either. If I said to you right now, “Give me a definition and example of basic day to day bullying,” could you do it? It is a very important distinction to understand these days as the word bully is thrown around in far too many situations where it is not appropriate and with serious consequences. 
 

So what is bullying? The definition given by StopBullying.gov states:

 – An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.

 – Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

 – Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. 

The types of Bullying that occur:

 – VERBAL -use of words, statements and name calling to belittle, demean and hurt another person.  Gaining power and control over target.

 –  SOCIAL/RELATIONAL -sneaky and insidious types of bullying that often goes unnoticed by parents and educators  – sometimes referred to as emotional bullying.  Often within social groups and predominantly amongst girls between 5-8th grades.

 
 – PHYSICAL -Physical entails hitting, kicking, punching, spitting or tripping another child.

The difference between bullying and teasing gets very mixed because teasing, while many times is not meant to hurt another person, it can. Teasing is generally “to make fun of somebody.” This happens at school, between an adult and a child and between siblings. Teasing is meant to be a game in which harm is not intended unlike bullying where harm is intended to a weaker person. Teasing can come across as funny or playful by the person teasing but can be taken as hurtful by the person experiencing it. Teasing can be overcome by a person having a strong sense of self. Having a good relationship with your child in which you are able to talk about problems that they are having helps to develop their resilience and their understanding of how to handle situations.

As you are talking to your child about what they are learning about bullying this month, help them to understand that it is never okay for someone else to make them feel bad. Remind them of the amazing talents, abilities and positive attributes they each have which makes them special. Help guide them as to what to do when they feel they are teased or bullied. Empower your child.

 

—Mary & Claire

 

**My Remarkable Self is available to give workshops, school/camp assemblies and classes for parents, students, educators and businesses. Please contact us for further information.**

 

© Kids Empowered LLC and My Remarkable Self® 2015

TRY

Posted on Communication, General, Parenting September 10, 2015 by Mary George

I was going through my children’s deluge of paperwork this morning and I came across this drawing that said, “TRY.” It really struck me. It reminded me of the Power of Words and the Power of Actions. Trying is so important. It affects all of us in everything we do at every point in our lives. For my children, I tell them all the time that their grades do not matter to me if they try hard. I do not care if they are on the best team or win if they try their best. Helping someone else is trying to make our world a better place. I think that I have on repeat, “If you do not try you will never know.”

I wonder all of the time if I am truly getting through to my children when I tell them these things or when I am trying to teach them some of the important life lessons. The other day I heard my daughter say to one of my sons, “You know, Mom said, “You can do anything that you want if you put your mind to it and work hard. So don’t give up. “ To me that was a halleluiah, dancing in the streets moment! Not only did she listen and understand what I said but reminded her brother how important it is to try hard and not give up. The power of words and actions–

For me, trying and working hard is just part of who I am – mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, colleague, athlete – the list goes on. I hope that it being a part of who I am will also help show my children its importance. Of course there are days that are harder then others but all of us pull ourselves up and plow forward even when we do not think that we can. WE are teaching our children what trying is through our words and actions. Remember your strength and perseverance. We all have it in us. Just TRY.

 

—Mary & Claire

 

**My Remarkable Self is available to give workshops, school/camp assemblies and classes for parents, students, educators and businesses. Please contact us for further information.**

© Kids Empowered LLC and My Remarkable Self™ 2015